I started a new job today, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life.
Now before you make assumptions, I have had plenty of jobs and have quite a lot of patience. I’ve dealt with my fair share of jerks and have lasted far longer than a day in any job I have had (until today). Today was different.
The people I worked with were unfriendly and very unpleasant. The only nice guy that I worked with reminded me of that guy from Good Burger, and still wasn’t very personable. I felt so unwanted, and just broke into tears after work. I ended up quitting my job in the worst way possible. Through a text message.
I thought I could have lasted longer, but I just kept replaying how the next several days, weeks and months would play out. This made things worse, and while I thought I could have at least lasted another day, I thought about what would have happened if I quit face to face with the manager. Things didn’t go great in my head, and while I tried to calm myself down, it just wasn’t happening.
My heart kept racing and this unbearable guilt overwhelmed me. I felt like a letdown and an immense failure to not only myself, but to that short lived job. While I do feel much better (as of right now), I know that tomorrow I will feel even worse as the reality of the situation sets in. I’m afraid that the manager will text me back and let me know how much of a sh**ty person I am. I know these things are unrealistic, but in my head everything negative always plays out.
I just don’t know how to control my emotions or my anxiety. It’s seriously ruining my life.