How anxiety ran my life hardcore today.

I started a new job today, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life.

Now before you make assumptions, I have had plenty of jobs and have quite a lot of patience. I’ve dealt with my fair share of jerks and have lasted far longer than a day in any job I have had (until today). Today was different.

The people I worked with were unfriendly and very unpleasant. The only nice guy that I worked with reminded me of that guy from Good Burger, and still wasn’t very personable. I felt so unwanted, and just broke into tears after work. I ended up quitting my job in the worst way possible. Through a text message.

I thought I could have lasted longer, but I just kept replaying how the next several days, weeks and months would play out. This made things worse, and while I thought I could have at least lasted another day, I thought about what would have happened if I quit face to face with the manager. Things didn’t go great in my head, and while I tried to calm myself down, it just wasn’t happening.

My heart kept racing and this unbearable guilt overwhelmed me. I felt like a letdown and an immense failure to not only myself, but to that short lived job. While I do feel much better (as of right now), I know that tomorrow I will feel even worse as the reality of the situation sets in. I’m afraid that the manager will text me back and let me know how much of a sh**ty person I am. I know these things are unrealistic, but in my head everything negative always plays out.

I just don’t know how to control my emotions or my anxiety. It’s seriously ruining my life.

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2 thoughts on “How anxiety ran my life hardcore today.

  1. lives4waffles says:

    It sounded like an unbearable work situation. If you REALLY wanted to I’m sure you could have stuck it out but at what costs? You would have been miserable and that’s not worth it. Don’t feel bad.

    • whimsicalescapes says:

      Thanks ❤
      I feel a lot better today about it. I think I just think too much when it comes to this stuff. But since everything is done and over with, all of that relief has sunk in, and the realization hat those people were just major dicks.

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