Just a lighthearted blog on internal farts and bowels

It seems like I become the most gassy during the most inopportune times.

For example, my bathroom is being reconstructed for the SECOND time in the past 3 years (floor rotting since the first guy didn’t fix it right the first time) therefore, for the past week (and possibly upcoming one as well) I have had no access to a shower or an indoor toilet. We seriously have a port a potty in our driveway. Classy I know.

Moving on.

Normally I release my bowels at least four times a week. That might not seem like a lot to most people, but it’s pretty regular to me. But why is it that the week I don’t have a functional bathroom, I all of a sudden want to become more regular than usual?? I’m talking twice a day with a copious amount of gas to come with it. It’s horrid.

Just three days ago I had a job interview. I had to fart SOOOO BAD it was almost painful. While I was holding it in, my fart decided to reverse itself and make the most unpleasant sound ever. Luckily, I blamed it on not having lunch yet, and it was just my “stomach growling”. If only she knew I was in pain and my rectum decided to swallow it’s own fart.

I’m also normally a loner, which is perfectly fine with me. But since this week has been a bit….insane…I have been surrounded with people nonstop (which is perfectly okay). But then cue the gas, and there I am making very concentrated faces trying not to fart, or burn a hole into my jeans.

I don’t know what it is about timing and my gas, but it’s like it’s planned. Talk about weird!


4 thoughts on “Just a lighthearted blog on internal farts and bowels

  1. The Duckie says:

    “You have an important meeting with plenty of people? Let me sing you the song of my people!” – Stomach/anus

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