Currently I’m working two jobs. Combined together, my weekly hours still don’t equal full-time but that’s okay with me. These two jobs are both very simple and for the most part I enjoy them. Now to get to the point of this midday ramble..last weekend I had an epiphany. I want to make short films.
In result of this epiphany, I’ve decided that I want to quit my visitor’s center job to focus on making said short films. To most people (especially my parents), this decision is beyond impractical. I would be losing about 1/4 of my monthly income to pursue some pipe dream. And strangely enough, I’m okay with that. Although I could use the extra money from the visitor’s center job that I work at, I simply don’t care to anymore. Life for me was never about money anyway. It was more about the experiences and leaving my footprint on the Earth.
I’ve thought about making short films my entire life, but never had the confidence to try. I can see the risks that come with making this decision, but it just feels right. Very few things feel that way to me anymore. I’ve never been the practical type of individual. It hasn’t been a smooth ride, but its been worth it. As a person struggling with anxiety disorder and as someone that wants to do nothing with their life but create, it’s been a lifelong battle in regards to actually taking the steps needed to living a fulfilling life.
It makes me think about all of the people lost in life, trying to figure out what they want to do with it. Little do they realize that one day they will wake up and their life is almost over. Contemplation and regret is what life will ever really be to them. I don’t want that to be me. Settling for contentment and not striving for fulfillment is one of my biggest fears in life.
All of that internal confliction aside, that’s where I am in life right now. It’s not much of an update, but trust me, once I make my first official short film, you guys will be the first to know!