I don’t know if any of you read my blog regularly enough to remember a post I made regarding this guy. Well, he’s back and crazier than ever.
But before I get into that, I’ll talk about the weird guy that came in prior since it all happened in the same day. As you guys may know, I work in a public building, therefore we get a lot of strange people that wander about. For the most part, they keep to themselves and that is perfectly okay with me. What does bother me is when I am alone and these questionable people talk to me.
Around an hour ago a guy came in and decided to tell me his ENTIRE life story. He was essentially bragging about how he has his own business in a different state and has his own home worth $250,000. Which, if you’re not familiar with real estate in this part of the country, that will buy you a pretty nice house.
He then showed me the bracelet his ex wife gave him that was allegedly worth $80, and then said he has his own apartment here. The kicker is, the only reason why he’s here is because his mother died and he’s here to get all of the stuff she gave him in her will. Then he went on a tangent about how his child is smoking weed and hopes his kid isn’t gay. Wut. It was all so bizarre. Of course I’m taking all of this lightly because the dude is weird.
Then he started asking me if there were any soup kitchens nearby that were open because he wanted to get some food. I know some people do this to interact with those in need and want to get to know them…BUT for someone to stand in front of me and brag about how much they make is BS. What business do they have trying to get free food from someone else that needs it?
But realistically, he probably is a person in need and isn’t as well off as he says he is. BUT IF YOU’RE GOING TO LIE, DO IT PROPERLY. The discrepancies were annoying me the most. You have no idea how badly I wanted to question the hell out of him. I guess that is just my journalistic nature.
When I thought things couldn’t get any more uncomfortable( because Mr. Businessman would not stop talking for the life of me) they did. Out of all the people that entered, it had to be Face Tattoo. When he saw me, his face lit up. When I saw him on the other hand, I died a little on the inside…and when I mean a little, I mean a lot.
He overheard Mr. Businessman complain about how the soup kitchens weren’t open, so face tattoo offered to buy him some Taco Bell. Face Tattoo then told Mr. Businessman to wait for him outside for a second. That’s when he started talking to me.
FT: Hey, are you married yet?
Me: Uh yeah, I just don’t have my ring on.
FT: Did you know that I am God’s son? He sent me here so I could tell you that he loves you. I love you.
Me: That’s nice, thanks.
FT: It’s true. God turned wine into water you know.
FT: It’s 2017, Hilary and Bill Clinton. I mean uh, Donald Trump, they’re going to fuc* up the country. That’s why God is going to take you to heaven. That’s why he’s going to take me to heaven.
FT: I gotta go. I’ll see you in heaven.
The past few days I have interacted with so many creepy people that I feel as if my brain is slowly turning into mush.
Well, that’s my story of today. I hope someone could get a laugh out of my discomfort.