Job searching stealing your soul? You’re not alone.

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We all inevitably go through the arduous process of job searching and I’m sure we can all agree that it sucks.

In my attempts at corralling a job, I have discovered that there seem to be way more cons than the obvious pros (having a job, money, etc). For instance, the emotional damage that it can do to a person’s confidence. Here I am at the age of 25, out of college (I can’t even say fresh out of college anymore) still wondering what I am wanting to do with my life.

All of my life I was told that if you go to college you will 100% land your dream job. Well, I’ve been searching for a career for the past year and a half and that has determined that statement to be a lie…at least for me. No one prepared me for just how difficult it can be to not just pursue a career, but to locate one.

I have spent countless hours applying for job for who knows how long. I can’t help but wonder if I’m just some unqualified loser. I’ve even applied to be a cashier at a big chain home improvement store (rhymes with dome repo) and nothing. If that’s not a kick to my metaphorical man bits, I don’t know what is.

If you’re in a similar situation, I know it can seem pointless to continue searching. I know it’s easier to want to curl up under the blankets and binge watch successful fictional characters live their lives on Netflix. As someone that is barely hanging on mentally, don’t give up. Hang in there, and keep lighting that flame (perhaps the one under your bum) and keep progressing further.

A really great person told me recently “…sometimes it’s not if you’re qualified – it’s the market where you are”.

This statement gave me a lot of clarity. Sometimes you need to branch out further if you are really passionate about improving your life and your path towards a better career. To be completely transparent with you all, I will admit that I myself never gave it much thought. It essentially went one of two ways: either people convinced me to stay here or I didn’t believe in myself and thought I wasn’t good enough to live elsewhere. As someone that’s still trying to figure things out, the most important thing is to not let others dictate what you want in life.

If by some miracle someone is actually reading this, I believe in you. You should believe in yourself too. The untraveled path can be scary…really scary. Oftentimes that road is the best road to go.

XOXO,

Kiki ❤

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Having it together is only a concept.

As the title suggests, having it together in life is only a concept. A dirty lie. Do you want to know a secret? Nobody truly knows what they’re doing. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever met an individual that has woken up one bright and early morning and said, “Aha! I know exactly what I’m going to do with my life. I have all the answers right here”.

The truth is, people simply just make the decisions that they think are right. It’s all a gamble. I guess that’s where the phrase life is a gamble comes from. It’s all very true though. Go figure. No one can truly know what the right decision is.  That’s where our failures and our successes come from, acting on instinct and praying that all goes well. Regardless of the outcome, the real technique is tricking everyone else into believing you have life by the balls. 

Even the most successful of people don’t have every aspect of their life figured out. So if you’re feeling down about where your life is, don’t fret. Just know that as long as you keep trying and keep staying positive, you’ll make it to the next step. Remember, you’re not alone. In fact, every person you will ever stumble upon in your lifetime has or will undoubtedly feel lost too.

XOXO,

Kiki ❤

6 tips for a SUCCESSFUL life.

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Wiki commons: Camdiluv ❤ from Concepion, CHILE- Colours

To many people, living a successful life would equal having an incredible job, making ____ figures per year, and living a life full of luxury. That mindset used to be mine, but not anymore. I’ve learned that the more a person yearns for money and things, the more empty life becomes…because at the end of the day you’ll never have enough.

I’m only 25 and I still don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I would say the majority of my day is spent self-loathing and comparing myself to people that seem to have their life put together. I’m finally learning to get over myself and accept life for what it is: a mystery. If it’s not going the way I want, I realize I need to do something about it, even if it requires fighting through a struggle the size of Mount Everest.

-Enough of my blabbering-

1.) Don’t let your dreams die.
-When you let your dreams die, you’re letting a part of yourself die with it. It can be               scary to chase after dreams, and it may seem impractical but who really cares? The                 world is changing, and as they say: you only have one life to live. Live it the way you               want. It’s not going to be easy, but everything takes work. Casey Neistat is an                           INCREDIBLE example of someone who had a dream and achieved it. There were                       struggles, and it didn’t happen overnight, but he made it.

2.) Stop comparing yourself to others.
-People are always going to put the best version of themselves out there. Stop trying  to        live up to someone else’s standards, and start living up to your own. Why try and turn          yourself into a carbon copy of someone else? To hell with what you think people want            you to be, and to hell with society telling us we need to be at a certain point in life by              the time we’re age 30. The important thing is you’re working hard and you’re proud of where you are in life. It doesn’t matter about what anyone else thinks.

3.) Don’t overthink.
-If you’re anything like me, you probably overthink every single life decision possible. I’ve learned that overthinking will only make things your own personal hell. I know it’s easier said than done, in fact I’m still struggling with overthinking. It’s not going to be an easy task, and it’s going to be a mental workout that you’re going to have to constantly remind yourself to do. But I promise, once you’ve stopped overthinking you’ll gain more confidence and self-assurance. The few times that I’ve successfully managed to trust in myself have been undeniably satisfying.

4.) Hold yourself accountable.
-It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself and it’s even easier to place the blame of one’s failure on others. The truth is, we are all accountable for our lives no matter how great or how awful they may be. Sure, people can contribute to the way our lives have turned out, but they’re not our ultimatum. We can easily become trapped in the rules and regulations that society makes us believe we should follow. In fact, it is downright scary to think of any other alternative to that, but it’s possible. We just have to break out of that tiny box, admit to our failures..because well, no one can escape life without failing unless they just don’t try. And in the end, if we don’t try and if we don’t fight past life’s failures then that is all us.

5.) Have your priorities in check.
-Fun is fun…and work is….well, work. Procrastination and putting other things before what’s important can often happen a little too frequently. Spending money on things that make us happy is all too easy. Wasting time watching Netflix or spending countless hours playing that oh so addicting video game (I’m lookin’ at you Telltale) can be more time consuming than intended. Before you even realize, a whole day has gone by. If you keep up that cycle, then there goes an entire month. In this time span nothing really gets accomplished. Like that cheesy saying goes “a year ago you would’ve wished you started today”. It’s all very true. Time will stop for no one. There’s nothing wrong with indulging or having fun, but make sure you have a healthy balance if you want to succeed in this life.

6.) Have a backbone, have a voice.
-If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably let one too many people walk all over you. It certainly eats at self confidence and self worth. Remind yourself that you are a human being and you deserve respect just as much as anybody else. Don’t let people take advantage of you and certainly don’t let people make you feel anything less than human. It’s okay to stand up for yourself, especially when your happiness is compromised in the mix.

Are there any things you would like to add to this list? Let me know!

XOXO ❤

Kiki

The Frustrations of Being Single

Photo credit: Wikicommons, Title: With You, Submitted by: TeamMachoJAPS

Photo credit: Wikicommons, Title: With You, Submitted by: TeamMachoJAPS

There have been several people around me that have been having issues in the finding a special someone department. Whether they have been single for an incredibly long time, or have simply just found one dud after another, they end up wanting to give up.

If you’re in a similar situation, please keep reading.

I know it can absolutely suck being surrounded by romance, and not having it yourself. It can be a lonely feeling. It’s nice to have someone there to share your feelings with and to embrace or even be embraced. You’re probably thinking, “What do you know? You’re in a relationship.” I understand because like many people, I’ve been there before.

I will admit, it has been some time since I’ve been single. But during the time I was single, I remember how depressed I was. I yearned to be loved. I thought the only thing that I was missing in my life was to be in love. That is where I was completely wrong.

I thought my source of happiness would be someone else. If I had a boyfriend, all of my depression and loneliness would go away. I was so wrong. I had just as many issues being in a relationship, if not more, than when I was single. I didn’t know how to be emotionally independent, therefore I only added a ton of baggage to the person I was in a relationship with at the time.

Not all of you may think like this, but I think it’s an important thing to take note of. If you’re relying on your happiness to come from another person, stop right there. You can’t expect someone else to be the source of your happiness. Not only is that a lot of stress for the other person, if you can’t figure out how to make yourself happy, then who can?

It’s important to be 100% emotionally independent. Take time to really know yourself. I’m 23 and I’m far from knowing who I really am. It can be difficult to deal with myself, nonetheless my boyfriend dealing with me. In order to be in a healthy relationship, I believe that one should be comfortable alone. An individual must be able to understand what goes on in their own mind. If you don’t know half the time, how will you be able to communicate with your future significant other? They certainly won’t be a mind reader, I can almost guarantee it.

I mentioned in the previous paragraph that it’s important to be comfortable alone. If you can’t deal with being alone, you will have serious issues in the future. Everyone needs personal space every once in a while. The mind can become overcrowded when you don’t allow it to breathe and depressurize. If you’re going to cling to someone all the time, the metaphorical sea your relationship is sailing on, will be a violent one. Things will eventually spiral out of control, and you won’t see it coming. That’s why before you get into a relationship, you need to be independent yourself. No one wants to be someone’s emotional babysitter.

Another important thing is to not search for love. You will forget life and appreciate your life that way. If all you’re thinking about is being in a relationship, you’re missing out on all of the good things in life that are already surrounding you. You’ll obsess and obsess, and only attract the wrong people. Now, I don’t mean not to put yourself out there every once in a while, but if all you think about is how you can find a significant other,  just stop right there.

Maybe this is just me, but I think that finding love happens unexpectedly. Venture into the world more. If you’re doing the same routine all of the time, do something different. You can’t expect to gain different results if you don’t try anything new. Switch it up every now and then, and you might be surprised. Go to the park, go to a new coffee place in town, or whatever else you can think of. You’ll never know who you will bump into. Also, don’t be afraid to talk to people.

If you’re socially awkward like me and can suffer from social anxiety, this might seem impossible. It takes a lot of practice, but trust me, with each small effort, it will eventually turn into a bigger step. Even if it’s just a smile and a simple hello, that is more progress than not saying anything at all.

I guess the gist of this blog is to just be comfortable with just you, and step outside of your regular routine whether it’s in your comfort zone or not. Love might not be around every corner, so don’t expect it to be, just live your life and be surprised. It’s that simple, I promise. Love will come your way, just let it happen naturally.

Quit your life of laziness

No one is entitled to anything. If you want something in life you must work hard for it. If you don’t plan on working hard throughout your life, you will end up living a life full of what ifs.

If you are the type that refuses to work hard. Here’s a prediction of your future:

You’ll have some good moments in your life, but never great moments. You will get to a high point where things are going well, but since you don’t work hard for anything, your life will slowly go back to point A (a stagnant and very familiar moment that you’ve faced so many times before).  From there, you’ll once again spend a lot of your time comparing yourself to those around you, secretly hating them for having a life better than yours.

At first you’ll think to yourself, “they’re so lucky, I wish my life was like that.” You might even slowly start obsessing over the things they have, eventually starting a wildfire of envy inside you.

That jealousy will grow and grow, until the day you realize you need to stop being so angry. If you don’t try and better yourself,  you’ll once more find yourself at a stand still. While those around you move forward with their lives, you will still be at the same place you were as the week before. Those weeks will turn into months, and those months into years. Those that have worked hard their entire lives will be so far ahead of you that one day you won’t realize where the time has gone.

What would you have done that entire time with your life? Facebook stalking everyone that has the life you want, secretly daydreaming about what that life would be like for you?

You could have been working hard, but instead you were most likely trying to make your life seem great. Probably on social media, making empty statuses on how “happy” you are, trying to convince those (and mostly yourself) that your life is as accomplished as you want it to be.

Life can be complicated, but the equation is simple. Spend a short amount of time working hard, and busting your butt to gain a lifetime of happiness. Life requires some sacrifices every once and a while. It’s just up to you to decide on what your sacrifices are. Do you sacrifice some free time and gain stress, or do you sacrifice the great life you could have?

The choice is up to you.