Japan?!?!

I’ve been feeling rather empty for the past several months. It just feels like I’ve been playing it safe when it came to living my life. As I’ve mentioned way too many times in my previous blogs, I have anxiety and often times feel stuck.

Over the past few months I have been thinking of teaching in Japan for a year (possibly longer) so I can finally feel like I’m living. Well, I officially applied a few days ago and have a scheduled phone interview on Tuesday. THEN, I might have an in person interview in Chicago. How crazy is that!?  Although all of this is hush hush with my place of work right now because I don’t know if I’ll get it…hopefully I do.

Now, I don’t know if any of you believe in signs or destiny…but I do. I believe in it with all of my heart and every ounce of my being 100%. Let me explain why.

Just now, a really positive and happy looking lady came into work. She looked me in the eye and said “I have something for you”. I mean how random is that right? She placed an envelope on the front desk and tells me how her “Pa Pa” was stationed in Japan and kept a newspaper clipping and she didn’t know why. Then as quickly as she entered the building, she left. It was so bizarre. Anyway, the newspaper was a Japanese newspaper which I totally cannot read whatsoever. I took photos of it before I had to give it to my supervisor.

After she left, I was stuck in awe, reassuring myself that this was indeed a sign. While pondering about the event that had just happened, one of my coworkers entered the building and asked “is that sign big enough”? Now, even though that statement wasn’t in correlation to what I was thinking about, I do think that her timing was impeccable. Whether you believe in God or not, I think that this was indeed a sign from him.

Now here I am, ending this blog, excited for what is to come next. Until then!

XOXO,

Kiki ❤

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The Beauty of San Francisco (Photos part 1)

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A few months ago I briefly wrote about my experience in California but got super lazy and didn’t go into any more detail. I partially blame my lack of blogging due to my hardcore vlogging and editing…which were also uploaded inconsistently so that excuse isn’t valid whatsoever.

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If you guys are interested in actually watching my YouTube adventures I will link them in the order that they should have been uploaded in.

Day 1 and 2 (Skate park, SF at night)
Alcatraz Tour
Musee Mechanique and Bushman
Japantown
Golden Gate Bridge/Baker’s Beach
Leaving California (My favorite video)

Disclaimer: I look like crap in most of these videos because I was tired as hell. Also I didn’t give a damn. I was having way too much fun.

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Now that all of that is out of the way, instead of re-telling you everything that I experienced, I’m just going to post my favorite pictures from the trip.

Soma Skate Park

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Vintage Shop
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Alcatraz
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Musée Mécanique
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The Homeless: The big city culture shock of a small city girl

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Some wouldn’t consider my city a small city, especially since we have almost 200,000 people living in it. But compared to San Francisco, a city with almost one million people, it can feel that way.

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting when I was California bound. All I knew was that there would be adventure around every corner (and I was right). What I wasn’t expecting, was to be impacted by the dark side of San Francisco.

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Just like everywhere else, Evansville has a homeless population. I see them every time I work my weekend job. They’ll come in to escape the heat or the cold. Some are the friendliest people I could ever meet. Others on the other hand are in clear need of psychological help (but that’s a topic for another day).

To paint a better picture of the (homeless) population here, if I were to drive around town I would probably see on average five people on the streets asking for help. The rest either don’t look homeless, are in shelters, or are living in their cars. As sad as this reality is, Evansville can be blinded. Especially since there just aren’t that many visible people living on the streets here. I think due to this detail, people are more likely to help since it seems as if there isn’t an abundance of the unfortunate here.

In fact, there is this homeless man that is always outside of my work who (I assume) is a war veteran. Almost everyday he’ll be downtown outside of my work with his things, waving his flags to show his patriotism. He’s quite an inspiring man, and a kind person too. One day, his bicycle was stolen and a local bicycle shop ensured that he got a new one for free.

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When I was in San Francisco, I learned quickly that there was an overwhelming number of people living on the streets. It was unavoidable. Just walking a few blocks, there were ten homeless people. Some sleeping on window sills of buildings in their sleeping bags, some begging for money, and others just sitting there with emotion erased from their faces. It was and still is heartbreaking to me.

The day I landed in San Francisco my friend and I had to walk to the hotel. I remember seeing this mentally disturbed woman who was shouting  profanities at anyone that walked past. In that moment, I knew I had entered a world that I wasn’t emotionally prepared for.

While I was in San Francisco, a good majority of my time was spent walking. Because of that, I had the opportunity to fully experience things that those taking motorized transportation overlook. Walking through certain parts of the city was overwhelming. These were the parts of the city where I saw most of the homeless.

Walking through these parts, I was instantly hit with a smell off filth. I inhaled the smell of urine and drugs. The air overpowered my nostrils and burned into my lungs. The ground was sticky with unknown substances, and broken crack pipes crunched underneath my feet. No matter where I turned there were so many people asking for help. Even though I wanted to help, I simply couldn’t. That was when the harsh reality I’ve heard so many times set in: you just can’t help everyone, even if you wanted to.

The worst part of the whole experience  was, I became like everyone else. I walked past these people like they didn’t even exist. On the outside I treated them like they were invisible, but on the inside, my heart was breaking for them. Now,  a month later, I catch myself wondering if there was something I could have done differently for them.

There are days  where the should’ve, would’ve, could’ves invade my thoughts and I can’t stand the fact that I treated these people like they were nothing.

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Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any way saying that the people of San Francisco don’t care about the homeless…BUT compared to what I do see in smaller communities, not enough is being done.  Even here in Evansville there could be more help given. There are millions and millions of people out there that need help, where does one even start?

XOXO,

Kiki ❤

April 24th the night of crazy concerts |Nashville, TN

I can’t believe it’s been since April since I’ve last written in here (excluding my previous blog post).

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These photographs are from my day in Nashville, TN. It was the first time that I’ve been there. To be honest, I was expecting to not be that impressed with Nashville because I was prejudiced and assumed everything in the Midwest would be boring like my own city. It was pretty ignorant thinking on my part, and I’m so glad that I was wrong.

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I went with Danielle and Skyler to see Walk the Moon and the Griswolds, so we only stayed in the downtown area. That entire day we spent just exploring the area (on a budget) until we had to leave for the concert. It was so much fun.

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The concert was excellent too. Both bands sound exactly the same live as they do on their recorded stuff. It’s nice to know there are some musicians out there that don’t have to be heavily auto tuned. (*Cough* lookin’ at you mainstream musicians. Your stuff may be catchy, but some of your talent is questionable).

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One thing that this mini trip made me realize is that for me, no matter how long or short the times is that I am separated from my hometown, when I go back it feels like an incredibly different world. My perspectives change, and for some reason no matter how fond (or not so fond) of a place I am, I’ll always have a positive perspective over my city.

With lots of love,

Kiki ❤

P.S.
I’ve started a vlogging channel on YouTube. I would be forever grateful if you would give it a watch (and if you like it) a subscribe! Just click the video above!

Bicycle Adventures

IMG_3024I never really knew how to ride a bike well. When I was a kid my dad showed me the ropes of mastering training wheels, and then we moved to a house that didn’t have a safe place to continue learning. After that, I just never really messed with riding a bicycle. After the move, I ended up becoming an indoorsy person, which is a shame because I missed out on a lot of outdoor fun.

If I remember correctly, the last time I tried riding a bike was with my friend in the 5th grade. She had a spare bike and took it upon herself to teach me how to actually ride. It was AWFUL. It felt like I was a baby horse trying to walk for the first time.

No matter how hard I try, I will never forget that day. As we began riding her bikes, I slammed my front tire into her back one. The next thing I knew, I was in the air flying over the handles. For a split second everything went black, and I had the wind knocked out of me.  We weren’t even a block away from her house, which is the most humiliating thing about it all.

Unfortunately for me, there were plenty of witnesses that saw the whole ordeal. Every kid on her street that we went to school with happened to be outside.

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After more than a decade of not touching a bicycle I decided to change that. Today I decided was the day I was going to ride my bike without any fear. Since the weather was beautiful today, I just went for it. I hooked up my bike to my bike rack, which took forever. If I keep this up, I’m going to have Mr. Olympus’ arms. Also, if you’re wondering about my dirty leg in the picture above, it was the result of my oily bike chain rubbing against my leg.

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IMG_3023I’m really glad I ended up riding my bike today. Riding my bike down the desolate flooded country roads was so surreal. My music was playing and the wind was blowing through my hair, it was the perfect day.

I ended up taking a few pictures to get back into my photography. I love feeling this way. I couldn’t imagine living a life without my camera. It would be absolute torture. So that ended up being my day today.

What was your day like?

-Kiki ❤

P.S. This was the song I had an repeat 🙂

Blog from the Past: Concert Misadventures

Posted on November 2012:

So this failed concert of mine happened two or three weeks ago. Here are the photos I promised in my last blog about the concert. I’d write descriptions in each one but I feel like shite, and I feel like they’re self explanatory. A short summary on the other hand I can do. The first set is like oh happy day la de da, look at the lovely scenery. The middle set is like, oh shite pancakes, my car is stuck in the middle of the highway at an intersection. Oh, nice police people hoorayyy. Oh crap, my car won’t start with a battery charge noooes!! Oh yay tow truck man. The last set is basically NOTHING CAN BRING ME DOWN! MATISYAHUUU CONCERT IN MY HOMEEE!

My eyes were puffy from crying, but I ended up making the best of the night.

Adventure in the Countryside

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There’s this area by the park I go to that leads to nothing but fields and road. My car isn’t really all that reliable, so even though I have wanted to explore where the road leads beyond the horizon, I never had the guts to.

I took a giant gulp, and decided what the hell? I’ll just drive until I get extremely wary and then turn  back around.

So that’s what I did, and I captured the past couple weeks in pictures, and thought I would share them with you.

If you can’t tell, I absolutely love these smoke stacks. One day, I hope to be brave enough and trust my car to get me there and back in one piece. When that day comes, prepare to see lots of pictures of them from up close.

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